Do You Wish You Could Do More For Your Kids?
Do You Wish You Could Do More For Your Kids?
We remember happy times from our childhood. We remember all the fun we had when Dad or Mom took us to the fun fair, or the beach, or camping. And as we grow older and our kids grow up, we wish we could give them the same happy times so that they too would have happy memories of their childhood - but we can't, because the money is so tight, and we have to work long hours just to make ends meet, and there's never time to do stuff with the kids. Our jobs take us to places where there's nothing interesting to do or to go to, or it's not safe to go anywhere, and so we grow sad as we see our kids bored and sad and stressed, instead of carefree and happy, like we were at their age.
DON'T LOSE HOPE!
We share these emotions of inadequacy and frustration, sadness and regret with a large portion of the human race. But we often don't realise that we are loving our kids the best we can under the circumstances, and the kids know that, and they appreciate it, even though they may very seldom say so. Kids instinctively know if you care or not. In their hearts, they will know if you love them. And that will be a memory that will always stay with them.
THEY HAVE YOU, AND THEY NEED YOU.
What kids really want, is to have Mom and Dad around, whether with or without money. Just the security they have with you being there, and the fact that you care about them, even if you can't do much to show it, is enough to give a child the happy memory of a parent who tucked them into bed at night, or woke them up with a cup of tea in the morning. A few words of encouragement here and there, chatting with them over the kitchen table - all these little things are precious to a child. They need YOU. Not what you can give them, and not where you can take them, but YOU. If you've recently gotten divorced, dump the new spouse and remarry your first spouse. You loved them once - decide to love them again. Then your kids will have a family again. Thinking of a divorce? Don't do it. Humble yourself and love with no thought of being loved back. It will make a world of difference to your kids. See the movie/DVD "Fireproof." for more details.
IT'S YOUR HEART THAT COUNTS
Kids have a way of knowing that you are trying hard to make a better life for them. When you are struggling financially, suddenly your child will come up and offer you all their savings to make it easier for you! They know when you are doing your best, and they love you for it. Teenagers may not tell you that, but under all the sassy words and cheeky actions, they also know you are trying, and they appreciate it. You may just find a note on your bed saying "Have a great day Dad!" and a smiley face, which is their way of saying thanks for all your hard work. Kids know your heart.
REPRIORITIZE
You can also make things go a bit better by reprioritizing what you do. We have to work of course, so that the family can eat and be clothed, but we can put the family up above other activities like helping in the community, watching TV, even church or social work. These things are not bad, but our family needs to have a higher priority, so if there's time and resources left after tending your family's needs, then we can do these other things.
WHAT PAST IS, ACTUALLY, HISTORY.
Regrets make our hearts sore, but there is nothing we can do about all the mistakes of the past. Sure, we've made mistakes, they may have robbed our kids of some of their childhood, but we need to forget what is behind us, and press on with determination to love our kids NOW in the present. Regrets only sap our energy and lower our self esteem, both of which do our kids no good whatsoever. So FORGET THE PAST. It's History.
The bottom line? Don't be sad. No regrets. Your kids know you are doing your best. Keep on loving them with all your strength. Be encouraged! If you have kids and you're trying, you're already a hero!
